A big list of BDSM aftercare activity ideas

One of the first things we are taught when we first begin our journey into the world of BDSM is – AFTERCARE!

Aftercare is the time we take following a scene or sexual activity to take care of and check in with our partner both emotionally and physically. This time allows us to come back into a more balanced mental space before we move on with our time together or apart.

It is super important for both Tops and bottoms to receive aftercare! As it helps to prevent and manage drop for both parties involved

So we know aftercare is the time to check in and take care of our partner. We know it matters. We want to be good play partners.

But how

Its really hard to know what you need – I learnt by a rather painful few rounds of trial and error.

So to try prevent that for you

I have collected a bunch of ideas from different friends and members of the community for you to try!

Along with some baseline recommendations

Basic needs for BDSM aftercare

These are a few basics to try complete following a scene. Not all will apply to every scene but i like to run through this list to make sure both myself and my top have had our basic needs checked in on and met.

• Temperature control!
  • I tend to get cold following a scene so I like to keep a blanket on hand. depending on how much physical activity you’re doing you may need to cool down with a fan or a cold drink.
• Water
  • Dehydration is not sexy!
• Food
  • I try to have a small sugary snack to boost my blood sugar following play and then a more sustaining snack when I’m ready.
• Medications
  • Pain relief, insulin, inhalers – check in and see if you or your partner need to take any of their usual prescription medications following play
• First Aid
  • Antiseptic, band aids, check in and see if there are any wounds that need to be taken care of following your play session

The list of other BDSM aftercare ideas I have collected so far!

• Talking about what you both enjoyed in the scene
  • Praise and thanks for an enjoyable time together is one of my favourite aftercare activities. 
• Being told specifically what you did well, that you are proud of them, care for them
• Checking in on mental/physical space/safety
• Physical intimacy
  • snuggles
  • sex
  • headpats
  • cuddle puddles and more!
• Getting you scene partner/s a drink, a snack, a blanket.
• Cooking for your scene partner/s
• Working together to tidy up your space
  • Learning how each person likes their toys cared for and put away
  • How they like their aftercare space to be
  • Work together to create and meet these needs and preferences after play
• Massage
• Have a warm shower or a bath
  • Together or separately
• Have a wind down activity negotiated and prepared
  • watch your favourite fluffy shows together
  • YouTube
  • TikTok
  • Play a cosy co op game together!
• Pre plan and have your favorite junk foods ready!
• Stuffed toy to cuddle
• Candles
• Get Comfy!
  • Change clothes
  • Get your favourite hoodie or their hoodie if you are a thief like me!!
  • Blankets!
• Take a nap together!
• Do some gentle stretches
  • This can help prevent injuries and pain, especially after bondage and pet play scenes when you are in or holding odd positions for an extended time – like crawling on the floor!

My favourite forms of after are what I call the 5 S’s

• Snacks
• Snuggles
• Soft Things
• Shower/s
• Sex

Let me know what your favourite aftercare activities are in the comments!

-Mochi-