First of all, what is pet space?
Pet space is a flavour of subspace like the “rope high” or “little space”.
Subspace is a broad umbrella term for the endorphin rush experienced by the s-type or bottom during a BDSM scene.
Tops also experience this endorphin rush but that is a whole other post.
You wont hit a subspace or pet space every time you play. You don’t need to hit subspace to play nor do you need to hit it to be a “good”™ submissive.
The Key to hitting Pet Space
(or atleast increasing your chances)
Whatever you want to call them, these are the easiest way to signal to your (or your pets) brain that it is a good time to shift gears into pet space.
Our brains are really amazing in this way. They process so much information all the time that they create shortcuts (like computer keyboards) to keep up. We can hack into this system and create our own shortcuts to achieve whatever we want.
This has been life changing for both my kink and vanilla life.
Like our computer keyboards
Ctrl + B = Bold Font
Lo Fi music + Rope + rope bunny = Rope space (for my owner)
Pet gear + soft things = Pet space (for me)
When using this system the more ques/rituals/patterns (specific to your pet space) you give your brain to create shortcuts the easier it will be for your brain to learn and remember them.
As an example for how you can use these cues and patterns this is
How I get into Pet space with my Owner
Before getting into pet space it is important for me to be relaxed so I will often shower and change before any scene. It’s also important to check in that we are both in the physical and mental state to play and to reaffirm consent for play (this is really important to my Owner and has over time become really important for me to relax into any kind of subspace)
When these needs have been met for both of us my Owner will usually have me sit on the floor/bed and start off by helping me put on my pet gear.
Putting on my pet gear has become a ritual of sorts between the two of us which goes something like this
First I’ll put on my knee pads (safety first)
Then I need to Sit Pretty so he can put on my ears – which I always end up adjusting
After my ears have been appropriately fussed over it’s Paws Up and he will put on either my paw gloves or mitts.
Then Ears Down to put on my collar
And Finally Tail up to insert my tail
This little ritual goes alongside a lot – and I mean a lot of praise, pats and scritches.
As well as this ritual we also make use of movement and speech restrictions (I am expected to be on all fours and I can only make cat noises during scenes – unless otherwise instructed)
I am also only referred to as kitten during these scenes and my Owner has this voice in pet scenes that just makes me melt into a puddle of cat girl goo.
This works for both me and my owner – But this isn’t going to work for everyone so here is
A list of ideas you can try
- Pet names – Call your pet by a specific name during pet play such as kitten/pup or ‘name’ your pet (one of my partners pet side went by sapphire)
- Pet play gear eg Collars or harnesses, Ears, tails, Mitts etc.
- Pet play specific foods and or treats (having these for your pet play can also work as incentive if/when you decide to train your pet – two for one!)
- Toys! I personally am obsessed with the ones that make noises – squeaker’s, crinkles… bells!
- Have safe spot set up for your pet this can be a cage, pet bed or even just a pile of pillows and blankets on the floor
- Use a start and/or finish phrase to begin and end your scenes – “Id like to play with my Pet now please” “does my pet want to come out and play with me?”
- Patting your pet like would do to a kitten, pup, fox, horse etc.
- Use pet play command words – once you’ve trained your pet going through a few at the start of a scene is a great cue. Here is a post on Pup Training and Kitten Training.
- I find pet play specific rules and protocols help me to maintain my pet space
- Movement restriction – only being allowed to crawl on all fours, no use of fingers/hands (mitts can be helpful to enforce this rule)
- Speech restrictions – no or little human speech, only allowed to communicate through animal noises etc
- No pets on the furniture
- Pets can only eat from bowls or when their owner hand feeds them
- Pets can not open doors – if they want to get into areas of the house they have to beg