Pet space is a flavour of subspace like the “rope high” or “little space”.
Subspace is a broad umbrella term for the endorphin rush experienced by the s-type or bottom during a BDSM scene.
Tops also experience this endorphin rush but that is a whole other post.
You wont hit a subspace or pet space every time you play. You don’t need to hit subspace to play nor do you need to hit it to be a “good”™ submissive.
The Key to hitting Pet Space
(or atleast increasing your chances)
Whatever you want to call them, these are the easiest way to signal to your (or your pets) brain that it is a good time to shift gears into pet space.
Our brains are really amazing in this way. They process so much information all the time that they create shortcuts (like computer keyboards) to keep up. We can hack into this system and create our own shortcuts to achieve whatever we want.
This has been life changing for both my kink and vanilla life.
Like our computer keyboards
Ctrl + B = Bold Font
Lo Fi music + Rope + rope bunny = Rope space (for my owner)
Pet gear + soft things = Pet space (for me)
When using this system the more ques/rituals/patterns (specific to your pet space) you give your brain to create shortcuts the easier it will be for your brain to learn and remember them.
As an example for how you can use these cues and patterns this is
How I get into Pet space with my Owner
Before getting into pet space it is important for me to be relaxed so I will often shower and change before any scene. It’s also important to check in that we are both in the physical and mental state to play and to reaffirm consent for play (this is really important to my Owner and has over time become really important for me to relax into any kind of subspace)
When these needs have been met for both of us my Owner will usually have me sit on the floor/bed and start off by helping me put on my pet gear.
Putting on my pet gear has become a ritual of sorts between the two of us which goes something like this
First I’ll put on my knee pads (safety first)
Then I need to Sit Pretty so he can put on my ears – which I always end up adjusting
After my ears have been appropriately fussed over it’s Paws Up and he will put on either my paw gloves or mitts.
Then Ears Down to put on my collar
And Finally Tail up to insert my tail
This little ritual goes alongside a lot – and I mean a lot of praise, pats and scritches.
As well as this ritual we also make use of movement and speech restrictions (I am expected to be on all fours and I can only make cat noises during scenes – unless otherwise instructed)
I am also only referred to as kitten during these scenes and my Owner has this voice in pet scenes that just makes me melt into a puddle of cat girl goo.
This works for both me and my owner – But this isn’t going to work for everyone so here is
A list of ideas you can try
Pet names – Call your pet by a specific name during pet play such as kitten/pup or ‘name’ your pet (one of my partners pet side went by sapphire)
Pet play gear eg Collars or harnesses, Ears, tails, Mitts etc.
Pet play specific foods and or treats (having these for your pet play can also work as incentive if/when you decide to train your pet – two for one!)
Toys! I personally am obsessed with the ones that make noises – squeaker’s, crinkles… bells!
Have safe spot set up for your pet this can be a cage, pet bed or even just a pile of pillows and blankets on the floor
Use a start and/or finish phrase to begin and end your scenes – “Id like to play with my Pet now please” “does my pet want to come out and play with me?”
Patting your pet like would do to a kitten, pup, fox, horse etc.
Use pet play command words – once you’ve trained your pet going through a few at the start of a scene is a great cue. Here is a post on Pup Training and Kitten Training.
I find pet play specific rules and protocols help me to maintain my pet space
Movement restriction – only being allowed to crawl on all fours, no use of fingers/hands (mitts can be helpful to enforce this rule)
Speech restrictions – no or little human speech, only allowed to communicate through animal noises etc
No pets on the furniture
Pets can only eat from bowls or when their owner hand feeds them
Pets can not open doors – if they want to get into areas of the house they have to beg
Kitten Play is a type of pet play where the “pet” takes on the role of a cat and their partner (if they have one) usually acts as their owner
Unlike Puppy or Pony play, the Kitten Play community began developing online in the late 90’s – so kitten play is still pretty new!
In this post we will look at;
Types of Kittens
Types of Tops
Where to find out more
Types of Kittens
Domesticated – Kittens with a submissive and affectionate nature.
Stray – A kitten that does not have an owner/partner.
Feral – A kitten who is not submissive in nature. Feral kittens tend to be more bratty and sometimes dominant within scenes
Types of Tops
Unlike pony and puppy play Kitten Play has… less defined roles when it comes to Tops… so I’m just going to show you my understanding of tops in kitten play
Master/Mistress – I have often seen this used when people pet play interlinks closely with other D/s dynamics or in those who enjoy the more old guard flavor of BDSM
Owner – A person who owns and cares for their kitten.
Keeper – A person who cares for a kitten or kittens. From what I have seen those who use this name usually have more of a focus on a caregiver-ish dynamic.
Training – Training most often includes position training. Your kitten can also be taught to perform tricks and walk on a leash.
Naps – Cat naps ♡.♡ I mean is there anything better for a kitten?
Play – Playing! Whether is 18+ play or a ball of yarn, playing with your kitten is key to burning off all that extra energy (and preventing the mischief that seems to follow over energetic kittens)
Grooming – Grooming can cover a range of activities like; patting your kitten while you are relaxing together, brushing or playing with their hair, massages or, if you’re brave enough, baths! Most grooming activities are a great way to bond.
Kitten Play Gear
Ears – For many ears are an important identifier of being a kitten and a signal that kitten time is starting or ending. With ears being available in clips or headbands, faux fur or metal. There are as many styles as you can possibly imagine!
Tails – Tails can also be used as signals or identifiers of a kittens head space. They come in as many styles as ears and attaching tails can ben managed in various (and fun) ways.
Collars – Tug proof ribbon collars are most often seen in Kitten play but any and all types of collars are used depending on the kitten. Collars can be as part of a collaring ceremony (like a wedding band) or as a symbol that the kitten is a kitten. again, It’s all up to the person (or kitten) who is wearing the collar.
Paws – Using mitts can take away the kittens ability to use their fingers and/or hands – adding to their pet space or acting as a form of bondage. Knee Pads – Knee pads!! I have recently been reminded how much knee injuries suck. If you like to crawl in your pet space please please please protect your knees and always use knee pads!
This position is a variation on sit pretty where my feet are set wider apart (legs parallel or in an M shape) and my butt is firmly on the floor. I do my best to keep my butt on the ground – to try to help remind myself to and to show my Owner that I will Stay.
Keep distractable kittens in one place – atleast for a li
Prevent mischief – I tend to steal my owners rope when theyre trying to pack up
How I do it
This position I kneel just like in ‘Sit pretty’ but to my Owner’s right side (or wherever they indicate). If I can I will rest my head on my Owner’s lap. If I’m told ‘paws up’ in this position I will rest my ‘paws’ on their thigh.
Keeping your kitten close
Wind down a scene
A form of aftercare
How I do it.
In this position I lie flat on my back with both my legs and arms partially bent and held up off the floor. My hands will usually stay or return to above my shoulders because this is where they feel the most natural.
Playing! Dangle rope or a feather wand above your kitten
(consensually!) Molesting your kitten
How I do it
I kneel like in tail down and stretch out and down until my chest touches the floor. I rest my left cheek on the floor as well to prevent bumping my head/face on the floor. I either stretch my arms out above my head or tuck my hands under my shoulders depending on how I’m feeling. And arch my back so my booty is high in the air, if I’m feeling frisky this will usually end in a butt wiggle.
Spontaneously doing this position to show my Top that I am feeling playful and happy.
Encouraging a submissive mindset in your pet
Inserting tail plugs
How I do it.
I curl my fingers into my palms to create little paws and bring my hands up to my shoulders, palms out.
Removes use of fingers and hands
Easy way to access hands/wrists for bondage
Combines well with most positions but works great with sit pretty/belly up
How I do it
To beg I stand up on my knees with my hands in the paws up position. I usually follow this up with a mew or say ‘please’ depending on my or my Owner’s mood.
This is a fun way to draw attention to and deepen the sense of your power dynamic
Feeding your pet treats
A way to gain enthusiastic consent for sexual play
How I do it
When given this command I crawl slowly on my hands and knees with my whole body as low to the ground as I can as if I’m stalking prey (usually in the form of a toy or my Owner).
Great fun when playing hide and seek with toys
Allows you and others to admire your pets hunting prowess
How I do it
This command is pretty simple. I just start kneading whatever I am currently touching – as if I’m making bread. If I’m not wearing my mitts I tend to curl my fingers into the palm of my hand to knead so I don’t accidentally hurt anyone…
Unless it’s a soft blanket because then i want to touch as much of it as humanly possible
Encouraging your kitten to relax
A great start to cuddle time with your pet
Good for self soothing nerves or excess energy
Combines well with the companion position
How I do it
When my Owner clicks their fingers it’s the equivalent of “come here” for me and I will crawl over to them or to whenever they have indicated they want me.
The verbal command “come” has little effect on my kitten side, clicking with verbal encouragement to “come here” gets my attention when I’m in a kitten space.
Get your pet where you want them
Following this up with the tail down position to keep them there
I’ve only recently started leash training with my Owner (as of a few weeks ago) and I’m so excited to see how this develops!!
How I do it
At the moment when my leash is on I treat it like a mobile companion command.
This means that I try to stay at my Tops right side so my shoulder is in line with his leg, whether he is moving around or standing still. When he is still I like to sit down, mainly because I am a lazy pet and if I get distracted they usually manage to get my attention through clicking or a verbal command to ‘come’ or ‘follow’.
Have your kitten automatically follow you around
Keep your pet close and keep your freedom of movement
A physical reminder of your power exchange and your pets place
Would you or have you tried training?
I’d really like to hear about your experiences and ideas below!
When I first started in pet play I was overwhelmed with all of the information out there
From choosing animals to roleplay to developing fully functional dynamics with others and all the little details in between…
Pet Play can be intimidating.
So if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed – it’s okay!
I was exactly where you were and it gets better.
So I wanted to write this post to try to help myself and others find their feet amongst all the information that’s out there.
We will look at
Choosing the type of pet you want to roleplay
Trying out pet play
Joining the community!
Choosing the type of pet you want to roleplay
For me, this was probably the most stressful part of getting started with pet play.
Mainly because I can’t make a decision to save my life…
And everyone seemed to have such detailed specific pet personas!
It was overwhelming and for some reason, I had decided I could only have one pet side and I could NEVER GO BACK
Shockingly this is not the case.
You can pick and choose and change your mind as much as you want
You can be any color, mix or type of creature you decide
And you can have as many different pet spaces as you want to ( but I would recommend starting with one while you are finding your sea legs – otherwise it can get a bit overwhelming)
You can also choose not to have a species or type of pet you roleplay
Human pets are a great example of this – they do not roleplay a specific animal’s behavior rather they roleplay as a ‘pet’ with whatever restrictions and roles they have negotiated prior.
Here are some ways people choose their pet types
Some people just seem to know what pet they want to be
They’ve insisted on playing this one animal since they were a little kid
or they’re a crazy cat lady like me
Maybe you’ve just always loved cats or dogs or ponies
Or you saw a pup at a party and you Want That
Some but not all people just know what they want.
If you are one of these people – awesome!
If not keep reading to find some other ways people have chosen their roleplay animal
Some people pick their pet based on personality traits that they identify with
For example, most cats are quite independent, like affection on their terms and tend to know what they want when they want it
Whereas dogs are super excitable and energetic, love affection pretty much always and tend to be very well behaved
What you want out of pet play
Pet types can be chosen to fit what you want to get out of your roleplay.
Some examples of this are;
If you want to get into pet play for the obedience and training – pony play or puppy play might be your gig
If you adore humiliation play – piggy play might work perfectly for you
If you have a lactation/breastfeeding fetish – cow play would probably be great for you!
Trial and error
Sometimes there are too many choices that sound fun!
If this is the case just do a round of trial and error tasters of different types of pets and pick your favorite/s from that
If you can’t decide or you don’t want to decide, see what your Top thinks!
They may have envisioned pet play as having an obedient little pup, a strong cart pony, or perhaps a snuggly little bunny?
This way you and your top can train and shape your pet roleplay to fit whatever their vision may be
So you have your pet type is chosen – it’s perfect, your excited – IM excited –
Usually, the next thing people want to do is get stuck into the gear
This can be for a lot of reasons;
Having pet play gear can help signal the start and ends of scenes,
It can encourage roleplay
It can make you feel cute
It’s just fun
There are tons of reasons to want and enjoy gear in your roleplay.
Gear does not make the pet player
You are not more or less valid because of the gear you choose to have or not have.
This is just another way to have fun if you want to.
There are a ton of different kinds of gear for pet play to fit any style and budget out there – more common pieces of gear can include;
Ears primarily come as clip in’s or headbands
Styles range from basic silhouettes to fancy and fluffy!
Tails mainly attach through plugs, safety pins, tying around ones waist/belt loops or to a harness
Materials can range from silicone to faux fur
These are mostly used by puppy players but other options are avalible online.
Materials can range from leather to rubber and come in a ton of different styles and color combos
Masks can provide full or partial face coverings
Materials can range from fabrics such as leather to plastics
Styles can range from full coverage to play boy bunny style body suits
Materials range from latex to lace and everything in between
Harnesses are primarily found for the chest, hip or face (as a mask or hood)
Purchased harnesses are most often made from leather or can be apart of rope bondage
These are available in a range of styles and restriction levels
Materials can range from leather to fur
Styles can range from pretty and decorative to ‘tug’ proof.
Materials for range from ribbon, chain, leather or strapping
Testing out pet play
Follow some common rules or restrictions given to pets like
These can look like; crawling, not using hands to grasp stuff, not going up on furniture, keeping arms behind your back if testing out pony play
These can look like; not using words, testing out different noises like whining, growling, meowing, barking, etc
Mimic different pets
Aka my best excuse to watch cute animal videos for.. research…
wiggle your booty if your excited, try grooming yourself with your paws
play fetch with yourself (bat the ball away, go fetch it and remember no hands! repeat), just swat the ball around, burrow into some blankets, lounge in the sun, find a slightly elevated spot and sit on it. Feel superior because you and no one else is on the slightly higher spot.
– whatever seems the most appealing try it out!
Join the community!
One of the best ways to learn more about Pet play is to join your local or online communities
Pet Play is when someone role plays some kind of domesticated animal (AKA a pet) within a BDSM context.
What does Pet play looks like?
The room is lit with a warm yellow glow, the smell of vanilla – His signature – drifts through the room. The door opens a crack and His pet slips into the room – still steaming from her shower – flashing him a smile before burying herself in His arms. He chuckles and asks “Are you ready to be my kitten, pet?” She wriggles in excitement and nods eagerly. Ears are collected, placed on her head – adjusted briefly by practiced hands as she is instructed; “Tail up” Obediently she moves into position.
A soft mewl escapes her lips as her tail is inserted – the veil of her kitten space begins to settle over her. She slides to the floor and butts her head against his leg affectionately. He sits and begins to scratch behind her ears, down her neck. Mewls and purrs announce her descent into kitten mode as she basks in the affection After a while, he stands. Rummaging through a drawer. His kitten watches avidly and as he reveals a small silver torch Deeming his offering unworthy of sitting up his kitten wanders off to settle in her spot on the floor A bright red dot appeared. Dancing in front of her nose almost as if it’s teasing her, mocking her hunting skills. Her eyes narrow and she shifts into a hunter’s crouch Wriggles her butt… pounces and.. What? It was right there! The dot dances just beyond her paws and she prepares to pounce again. He chuckles watching his kitten chasing the laser back and forth across the room. Not so secretly enjoying the view of a mostly naked girl crawling around his room. Eventually, she comes to rest at his feet, exhausted… “Awh is my kitten all worn out?” “Why don’t you come have some cuddles?” he asks, patting the bed. Purring she climbs onto the bed settling herself over his chest. They stay like this for a while, until he signals her to shift spaces with the request “Can I have my girl back?” She Nods A few minutes and kisses later the heavy blanket of her kitten space has been lifted. She looks up and grins “Thank you! That was so much fun!” “You’re welcome pet” he murmurs, kissing her forehead.
This is one super cute and fluffy example of a pet play scene.
One of the awesome things about pet play is how easily it can meld and change according to your kinks, moods, or wants.
So it can be cute and light and fluffy It can be dark and twisted as fuck It can be in the quiet moments when you are having a coffee at the end of the day,
It’s completely up to you!
Things commonly found in pet play scenes are;
Training (think positions, commands)
Playing with toys
Begging for treats (puppy dog eyes, whining, positions for edible or more physical rewards insert cheesy porno music here)
Walking your pet on a leash
Eating from bowls
Movement and vocal restrictions
Why people enjoy it?
Roleplaying a pet can be a fun new way to receive service from an s-type Or A nice way to relax and be taken care of Or A different way to express submission (crawling after your master, pawing his leg for attention, non-verbal physical expressions of love and affection) Adds to the intensity of a submissive mindset
Playing the role of the human is an opportunity to care for and spoil your partner The increased level of reliance on the “human” for needs/wants of the pet (such as rest, food, water, play) can increase the focus and intensity of a scene.
Pet play overall
Can be a cool combination of playful and sexy
Melds well with other kinks so there is a lot to play with
Can be a different flavor of power exchange
Can be A fetish
Types of pet play
So your most commonly seen pet play types are;
Human Pets – this is when you roleplay as a pet but do not roleplay as a particular animal or with specific animal traits such as barking, meowing etc
PSA You can play whatever kind of animal you want providing they are at least kinda domesticated I recently discovered the concept of dragon pet play – which is both AWESOME and proof that the only limit is your imagination
Pet Play is not about an attraction to actual animals. It’s about humans roleplaying
It is all or nothing when it comes to pet play and sex
Pet Play seems to be one of those subcultures that people believe has to be ether As pure and virginal as the Virgin Mary Or a bad porno
Mostly it’s somewhere in the middle of those two expectations and will vary person to person.
Only s-types can be pets
No! This one both makes me grumpy and makes me laugh. It’s like saying only males can be dominants.
Anyone on any side of the slash can roleplay as a pet if they want to. Just like anyone of any gender identity can be a Dominant or a Submissive
Some things to consider when negotiating Aka Mistakes I made that really screwed me over and I don’t want you to suffer through
Even if you don’t have joint issues I cannot stress this enough: BUY SOME KNEE PADS Seriously if you are going to be on all fours your knees are going to take some rough treatment. Carpet burn, bruising, painful knees for literal DAYS (I didn’t have knee pads and I decided to play on a hardwood floor just this once- Do NOT make my mistake please)
This is a BDSM activity so you absolutely need a safeword. Id recommend the traffic light system because it’s easy to understand and remember
Green – I’m good, lets keep going! Yellow/Orange – I need you to slow down and/or check in on me Red – STOP RIGHT NOW
If your pet space is non-verbal decide and agree on a physical safe sign instead of a word. I, for example, like to use a FIRM double-tap anywhere on my partner’s body. If I can’t reach them,
I’ll knock/tap/stomp on whatever surface I happen to be on as loudly as possible.
If you have any examples of what pet play looks like for you, I would love to see your comments below! It would be a huge help for future posts and play dates!
She does videos, she does podcasts, she is totally my pet player crush so I might be a lil biased but
OH MY GOD go watch her videos!
So researching, reading, fangirling over Evie is great but sometimes you want to get stuck in and do something that will add to your pet play.
This is where development comes in to the picture, since we are all stuck inside anyway this is the perfect chance to learn a new skills
I for one really want to try learn how to self tie my legs (rope has become a new interest of mine and I am quite the smitten kitten)
Some other skills you could learn are
How to make animal noises (this feels kinda weird at first so I found it really good to do alone until I built confidence!)
Pet themed DIYS for those crafty critters
How to wag your tail (especially pups! This takes practice!)
How to plan a scene
Activities during pet play
Negotiations, safewords and aftercare
For me there are two kinds of pet scenes that I enjoy doing by myself
Active pet scenes – This is where i will set up and plan a pet scene where i have the time and space to get fully into my pet space and have some fun
Lazy/Partial pet scenes – these are when I’m not feeling being fully in my kitten mode or I don’t have a good chunk of free time and the spoons for an active scene etc
If you have never been involved in planning a scene go back to the first section and research!!
Planning isn’t necessary for every scene you do but when you are first learning how to carry your own leash and experience pet play solo..
Having a plan can help calm your brain down and make it easier to enter and exit your pet play space
Decide on what kind of scene you would like to have, any activities you want to have available for your pet side, how long you want to be in a pet space etc;
Some activities I really enjoy during these active scenes are:
Hide and seek
This is where I ‘hide’ a few of my toys, maybe some treats around the room during setup
Play with toys
How high can you throw your squeaky toy and still catch it in your mouth?
How fast can you bat that yarn ball between your paws?
How much can you shake that rabbit before you get dizzy?
These are all very important questions we must investigate… for science
Set out a while bunch of soft warm things for a nest after all that hard work hunting down toys and testing your skills
Play with your pets as a pet
This can be super fun with a dog! Cats tend to be a bit unimpressed when you pounce on them..
I cannot stress this enough
Make sure you have everything set up before you get into your space
Seriously there is nothing worse than having to pull yourself out of your space because you forgot a toy or blankets or your brother decides to call you right then
what? no that didn’t actually happen to me…
To make sure I don’t get caught out mid scene I like to have a check list of any activities I’m planning on doing as well as the following;
Is the room is at a good temperature for what you are wearing/not wearing?
Think, cool for leather/latex pet players and warm for pet players who prefer less clothing
Do you have a softer area to rest your knees if you are going to be crawling around?
Is there food/water available if you need it?
Are my notifications turned off and alarm set to finish the scene?
Is any background noise set up to play for the duration of the scene?
Is my aftercare area set up? (if needed)
The biggest tip I have is to set up an aftercare area separate from your scene space (like the lounge, desk or bed)
Doing this makes it so much easier for me to get out of my pet space – so hopefully it’ll help you too!
Aftercare from a BDSM scene vs a BDSM AR scene can look a bit different.
This means the aftercare you set up for yourself might look different to the aftercare you normal get after a BDSM scene
For me aftercare after a BDSM scene involves the 3 S’s snuggles, snacks and soft things
But to get me out of a pet space I sometimes need a bit more help.
Some things that can help the transition are;
Removal of gear such as paws, ears, tails and collars
if you weren’t wearing them earlier
Standing up, walking, sitting upright in chairs
Stretching you muscles
Talking to others
Having something to eat or drink
I personally like to follow a routine to get out of my kitten space, which usually looks a little like this;
My alarm will go off to tell me the scene is over
Procrastinate on ending the scene
Tell myself I need to be good/ have my second alarm go off
Take off my gear and have a drink of water
Stand up and put my gear away (this ticks of standing and walking)
Sit in my aftercare space, have a snack and drink
Message a friend or watch a non animal/pet related movie or tv show while my brain settles back into its human mode
Having a routine to get out of a space can help to signal your brain that pet time is over and make the transition easier (this can also apply when playing with others)
Lazy Pet scene/Partial Pet space
These scenes are waay more low key than the active pet scenes you can do – this makes them perfect when you only have a little bit of time to indulge your pet side, or you want to increase your confidence and comfort in playing by yourself!
These kinds of scenes are also really helpful when you are struggling to fully invest in your head-space
which is normal! and now you have a possible hack for it too!
During these scenes there are tons of activities you can do! Depending on how much time/energy you have;
Pet themed crafts/DIY’s
Bake pet treats
Pet/Animal roleplay movies/books
Joining online communities, message boards or role-plays
Messaging pet friends
Going down the YouTube rabbit hole
Going for a walk/run – you pet side can enjoy the outdoors whilst still maintaining 3rd party consent practices
You can even do some of that research and skills building if you want to be super productive in your partial pet time!
Some Tips & Tricks
Set up everything you might possibly need before you start
Set up an aftercare space with human activities to ease you out of pet play times
Have you aftercare space separate from your scene space
Play movies/series in the background to prevent feeling lonely
DO NOT LOCK YOU’RE MITTS OR COLLARS IF YOU ARE ALONE AT HOME
Wear gear if you have it! And follow any restrictions you have within your pet space; eg. don’t walk on two legs or go on the couch
Make noise! Meow, bark, purr – get into it and enjoy the freedom to be as chatty as you want in your pet space!
Expand your comfort zone – one of the best parts about playing alone is that you have no reason to feel shy! So get into it, be silly, be spontaneous
Have fun with it!!
Thank you for reading!
If you enjoyed this post or have your own tips for playing independently let me know down in the comments!