Pet Play – Building a dynamic

Negotiating!

Negotiations are a huge and SUPER IMPORTANT topic.

Covering everything on negotiations would make this post Way Too Long so I am just 

going to list the basic questions I like to cover when negotiating a pet play scene

and some blog posts others have already written on negotiating BDSM scenes. 

Planning a scene

• The overall vibe of the scene , what you want to get out of pet play scene/s(sexy, playful, gentle, strict etc)
• Are scenes sexual or non sexual for you (and clarify what a=you are and are not okay with)
• Needs, likes and wants for play
• Other kink activities you like to have (rope, impact, position training, humiliation etc)
• Things you definitely don’t want right now (triggers, hard limits and basic things like where bruises can/cant be left)
• Any external factors to be aware of (stress, work life, commitments, other relationship expectations)
• Safewords and in scene communication (are you ever non verbal, how do you communicate when this happens)
• Health! (acute or chronic, illness, injury, disease, medications and their side effects)

Aftercare

• What are your aftercare needs? (immediately posts scene and extended if required [i tend to need a pick me up 3 days post scene to prevent drop])
• What does your drop look like?
• Drop triggers, timelines and symptoms.

Pet play specific questions include

• What your pet space is like (friendly, shy, playful)
• What helps you get into and out of pet space (toys, names, commands)
• Favourite pet play activities

And before I agree to start a scene I like to cover these to make sure both my partner and I are safe to continue and have a good time

• Have you eaten today?
• Have you had enough to drink?
• Have you gotten enough sleep recently? (8+ hours)
• Any current sources of stress or anxiety?
• How are you feeling?
• Do you both feel confident and happy in proceeding with the scene?

Resources

Kinkly

Rope Connections

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