Pet Play – How to carry your own leash

Pet Play – How to carry your own leash

BDSM Kitten Pet Player

So right now most of us are in isolation to help flatten the curve of COVID19 (gold star guys!). 

I don’t know about you but when I found out my study was to be postponed ..

I had no clue what I was gonna do with myself – until that is I chatted to a kinky friend of mine about what we would be doing with all this free time and I realized 

This is the perfect chance to take a break from the vanilla world and spend some time enjoying kink – and that means more pet play!!

But lil succubuss I’m single/my top isn’t in isolation with me/my top is part of the essential services work force etc etc 

It’s okay! We are strong independant pets! We can carry our own leashes!

In saying that I do need to be honest

carrying your own leash can be really fucking hard!

Especially when you are first starting out.

It took me ages to figure out what I was doing, so I want to save you time and energy and talk about how I do it – this way I might be able to help some of you!

There are a few ways you can indulge you pet side when you are by yourself

  • Research and development
  • Active pet scenes
  • Partial pet space and activities

Naturally (coz I’m type A) we are gonna go through this list and talk about what they mean and how you can do it then some tip and tricks I’ve learnt

Research and development

Basically this means looking into and learning more about pet play in general as well as learning and developing skills. 

If you are just starting out on your pet play journey (or could use a refresher)

I’d recommend starting with the basics like what is Pet Play and the types of pets out there.

Once you are ready to start expanding and deepening your understanding of your pet space you can look into other stuff like; 

  • Behaviors, sounds and body language of your pet species
  • Training
  • Gear
  • Incorporating other kinks into pet play (like pain, rope, leather/latex)

Sooo I spend a lot of my time looking into Animal Roleplay and Pet play (Shocking I know) and there are a ton of places to find information!

If you are a visual person (or you just like to see cute people in adorable pet gear – which is totally mee)

Instagram is gonna be your best friend! – the gear, the girls, the human-pet training videos! *heart eyes*

If you are a bit of a bookworm and like to read up on stuff well you can read more of my blog posts! (some shameless self promotion there)

Other places you can find stuff to read are;

Fetlife – there are a few groups on Pet Play

Tumblr – some of the text posts are AH-MA-ZING this one on kitten training by Sadistic Panther changed my relationship with pet play and just took everything to the next level

Tons upon tons of stories online – these are usually fan-fictions or eroticas and might not be the most informative pieces but they can be fun to pass the time 

And if you like to listing or watching stuff


I cannot recommend to you enough Evie Lupine

She does videos, she does podcasts, she is totally my pet player crush so I might be a lil biased but

OH MY GOD go watch her videos!

So researching, reading, fangirling over Evie is great but sometimes you want to get stuck in and do something that will add to your pet play.

This is where development comes in to the picture, since we are all stuck inside anyway this is the perfect chance to learn a new skills

I for one really want to try learn how to self tie my legs (rope has become a new interest of mine and I am quite the smitten kitten)

Some other skills you could learn are 

  • How to make animal noises (this feels kinda weird at first so I found it really good to do alone until I built confidence!)
  • Pet themed DIYS for those crafty critters
  • How to wag your tail (especially pups! This takes practice!)
  • How to plan a scene
  • Activities during pet play
  • Negotiations, safewords and aftercare
  • Self tying

Pet scenes

For me there are two kinds of pet scenes that I enjoy doing by myself 

Active pet scenes – This is where i will set up and plan a pet scene where i have the time and space to get fully into my pet space and have some fun 


Lazy/Partial pet scenes – these are when I’m not feeling being fully in my kitten mode or I don’t have a good chunk of free time and the spoons for an active scene etc

Active scenes


If you have never been involved in planning a scene go back to the first section and research!! 

Planning isn’t necessary for every scene you do but when you are first learning how to carry your own leash and experience pet play solo..

Having a plan can help calm your brain down and make it easier to enter and exit your pet play space 

Decide on what kind of scene you would like to have, any activities you want to have available for your pet side, how long you want to be in a pet space etc;

Some activities I really enjoy during these active scenes are:

  • Hide and seek
    • This is where I ‘hide’ a few of my toys, maybe some treats around the room during setup 
  • Play with toys
    • How high can you throw your squeaky toy and still catch it in your mouth?
    • How fast can you bat that yarn ball between your paws?
    • How much can you shake that rabbit before you get dizzy?
      • These are all very important questions we must investigatefor science
  • Cat nap/nest
    • Set out a while bunch of soft warm things for a nest after all that hard work hunting down toys and testing your skills
  • Play with your pets as a pet
    • This can be super fun with a dog! Cats tend to be a bit unimpressed when you pounce on them.. 

Set up 

I cannot stress this enough

Make sure you have everything set up before you get into your space

Seriously there is nothing worse than having to pull yourself out of your space because you forgot a toy or blankets or your brother decides to call you right then

what? no that didn’t actually happen to me…

To make sure I don’t get caught out mid scene I like to have a check list of any activities I’m planning on doing as well as the following;

  • Is the room is at a good temperature for what you are wearing/not wearing?
    • Think, cool for leather/latex pet players and warm for pet players who prefer less clothing
  • Do you have a softer area to rest your knees if you are going to be crawling around?
  • Is there food/water available if you need it?
  • Are my notifications turned off and alarm set to finish the scene?
  • Is any background noise set up to play for the duration of the scene?
  • Is my aftercare area set up? (if needed)


The biggest tip I have is to set up an aftercare area separate from your scene space (like the lounge, desk or bed)

Doing this makes it so much easier for me to get out of my pet space – so hopefully it’ll help you too!

Aftercare from a BDSM scene vs a BDSM AR scene can look a bit different.

This means the aftercare you set up for yourself might look different to the aftercare you normal get after a BDSM scene

An example

For me aftercare after a BDSM scene involves the 3 S’s snuggles, snacks and soft things

But to get me out of a pet space I sometimes need a bit more help.

Some things that can help the transition are; 

  • Removal of gear such as paws, ears, tails and collars
    • if you weren’t wearing them earlier
  • Standing up, walking, sitting upright in chairs
  • Stretching you muscles
  • Talking to others
  • Having something to eat or drink

I personally like to follow a routine to get out of my kitten space, which usually looks a little like this;

  • My alarm will go off to tell me the scene is over
  • Procrastinate on ending the scene
  • Tell myself I need to be good/ have my second alarm go off
  • Take off my gear and have a drink of water
  • Stand up and put my gear away (this ticks of standing and walking)
  • Sit in my aftercare space, have a snack and drink 
  • Message a friend or watch a non animal/pet related movie or tv show while my brain settles back into its human mode

Having a routine to get out of a space can help to signal your brain that pet time is over and make the transition easier (this can also apply when playing with others)

Lazy Pet scene/Partial Pet space 

These scenes are waay more low key than the active pet scenes you can do – this makes them perfect when you only have a little bit of time to indulge your pet side, or you want to  increase your confidence and comfort in playing by yourself!

These kinds of scenes are also really helpful when you are struggling to fully invest in your head-space

which is normal! and now you have a possible hack for it too!

During these scenes there are tons of activities you can do! Depending on how much time/energy you have;

  • Pet themed crafts/DIY’s
  • Bake pet treats 
  • Pet/Animal roleplay movies/books
  • Joining online communities, message boards or role-plays
  • Messaging pet friends
  • Going down the YouTube rabbit hole
  • Going for a walk/run – you pet side can enjoy the outdoors whilst still maintaining 3rd party consent practices
  • You can even do some of that research and skills building if you want to be super productive in your partial pet time!

Some Tips & Tricks 

  • Set up everything you might possibly need before you start
  • Set up an aftercare space with human activities to ease you out of pet play times 
  • Have you aftercare space separate from your scene space
  • Play movies/series in the background to prevent feeling lonely 
  • Wear gear if you have it! And follow any restrictions you have within your pet space; eg. don’t walk on two legs or go on the couch
  • Make noise! Meow, bark, purr – get into it and enjoy the freedom to be as chatty as you want in your pet space!
  • Expand your comfort zone – one of the best parts about playing alone is that you have no reason to feel shy! So get into it, be silly, be spontaneous
  • Have fun with it!!


Thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed this post or have your own tips for playing independently let me know down in the comments!


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